Ah, finally this year is almost over. The holidays are close by and my first semester is almost done. I am glad I survived the first semester and it has given me hope that I will survive next semester as well. I do not really have much planned for my winter break other than going to my church retreats and maybe planning a little Christmas/birthday party with my closest friends. It feels so nice knowing that I will finally have time to do whatever I please (at least I hope so anyway).

I plan to work on my next chapter on my novel that I’m currently working on. It is just a little project that I am doing for fun and to keep my creative juices flowing. I also plan to paint over the break! Finally right? I am so excited about that too! I really want to test my skills with oils. For my first subject, it is going to be a glorious portrait of none other than Enma Ai (throws confetti)!

I kind of want this one thing that I saw on the computer for a while. It is a drawing pallet and you can transfer your drawings onto the computer to alter and color your pictures to your heart’s desire. I see so many pictures done on this one website that I constantly visit. It looks like so much fun but you would have to spend a lot of time on the computer. I probably won’t get it any time soon considering it can cost up to around four hundred dollars. Plus the fact that I hardly have any money. I’m not going to ask my parents for it for my birthday because they’ll probably just be… well, parents. So maybe I’ll get it sometime when I get out of college, when I get a real job.

I have been thinking about my art work lately actually. Over the past years, I have given away A LOT of my pictures to friends or random people. If you ask why, it is because I am naturally a generous and nice person. I really don’t like saying no to people. So I lost a lot of good pieces of my work. Whenever I drew/painted something for a project, my teachers asked if they could keep as an example for next year. Of course I said yes… how could I not say no? Many friends and random people asked if I could draw something nice for them. I always promised that I would, but these things take so much time and effort. Especially since I am such a perfectionist in my work. All of those pictures that I have given away to people are probably now collecting dust instead of being treasured.

I have decided that I am not going to give away my art anymore.

This is something that takes so much time and effort. I pour my soul into these pictures, and where does it all go? Probably stuffed into some long lost folder, or thrown away, or crinkled and forgotten about. Thinking about that makes me feel pretty bad. I carelessly had given away art over these past years. I am not going to make that mistake again. A lot of people have asked me to draw them this or that. How am I supposed to draw for everyone? I don’t want to give away something nonchalantly to strangers when they will just end up throwing it away. If I happen to decide to draw something for someone, I want them to appreciate it as much as I do. I think the only person that fits into that category is my best friend. She knows how I truly feel about art and has kept everything that I have ever given her and lovingly put it on her wall. Even though it may not be much, it makes me feel wonderful that she appreciates it as much as I do. Plus having my creation displayed on a wall of another’s house boosts my confidence up.
That being said, I’m off to draw! (Well, study first, then draw.)

(The picture that is up is just a little something that I drew for a close friend. The only thing that I really like about this picture is that I freehandedly painted this. So I'm proud of that. It still needs some more work.)